Break of Art: I am a doer

A poem and spoken word by Alexis

Featured in Episode 2 - Navigating Burnout

I am a doer.

I am a jump on it right here, right now

Make the impossible happen, somehow

I pull rabbits out of hats

Do the things, grind the axe

Get it done, and I never relax

Till there’s nothing that’s bad

For you to worry at

Yes, I am a doer.

I am a let’s not let this mess fester

Lest it’ll put the best to rest

And we’ll digress

Being less for it

I suppress all the stress

And when I do, I progress

I see the need, I follow through

I do the things I know I must do

Yes, I am a doer.

I am a doer.

I want to fix the mixed up litany of hits

And I don’t want to risk me feeling the pits

But I don’t dare to settle and feel misunderstood

By a bunch of dumb misfits

Who don’t do me good

And no, I am not the sorry kind

Who just sits back, waiting for a sign

That is waiting for disappointment

It is waiting to be left behind

You see, I am a doer.

What I am not is a be-er

In fact, I’d rather sit back and have a beer

And make all the feelings of bad disappear

Put a veil on my hurt, cover up all my fears

Pretend my rearview is less sad than it appears

Then I’ll sink in the couch with my trusty TV

As the characters drown in an ocean of need

I’d rather watch suffering than feel it in here

So I put on a slick, let’s get it done veneer

And I act full of fire, yeah I play cavalier

Because I am a doer

Always saving the day, always moving and busy

No time for bad feelings when I’m in a tizzy

And I put up defenses to make you feel dizzy

Who sits by still waters?

I take my water fizzy

And don’t you get all melodramatic with this

This is not a woe is me

Is she ok? moment we’re in the midst

I am not telling you to cease and desist

But I am telling you

Yes, in fact I insist

That you don’t even know what I’ve got going on

I am dripping in doing

I’m above and beyond

Cuz it's all up to me to sing my own song

And I have been holding it together for so long

Yet there’s so many things that I do carry on

Sometimes I really do feel… overdrawn

Some days I don’t know where I even belong

All this doing, you see, it muffles what's wrong

When I do what I do

I pretend to move on

I am a doer, yes that’s right

And I will go on doing what needs doing tonight

I will do all the undone things in my sight

Give a smile and a nod in my undoing plight

And if you should try to shine a light

Tell me I misunderstand my power, my might

I will shoot you an unnerving stare

That will make you want to take flight

When really, I’m the one who’s hurting

I’m the one who’s empty inside

I am a doer

I pull rabbits out of hats

Don't know how to relax

I am a doer

With so many to-do’s

That I’m starting to crack

I am a doer

And I think it's a trap

What if I got me, and not just your back?

I am a doer

And I don't want my doing

To be my undoing act